Spaghetti in cuttlefish ink or: how much employs your cramp to come out

Ok, words as "cramp", "shit", "caca", "dirt" or similar, usually did not appear in cooking recipes. But I consider this a particular case.
If you want, you can take from this post considerations about shit alone. Otherwise you can ignore shit, or believe that I really intended "ship" or "chic" and only consider this spaghetti in cuttlefish ink recipe. Or, if you have hard stomach and can do it without barfing, eat my spaghetti and discover how much employs your shit to come out.
Ok, but why?
I don't know. You could have a constipation problem and you should want to know how many days a lunch stay in your gut until you at last eject it (what a relief). May be you would evaluate the effects of your new probiotic-based diet, whit a simple first-before experiment.
Or simply you would see your feces colored in a beautiful brilliant black.
Anyway.

You need a cuttlefish. You need a big kitchen, easy to clean. You need a great kitchen apron.
And finally you need these

INGREDIENTS
- 1 cuttlefish
- parsley
- garlic
- 1 onion
- 4 ripe tomatoes
- a glass of white wine
- spaghetti

Ok. It's the worst side. We have to clean the cuttlefish, WITHOUT break the ink sac. With a scissor cut away the eyes. Do the eyes splashed off on your face? Yes? It's funny, isn't it? Now, with the same scissor remove the beak. Now, open the head with a long cut: the brown muck is the liver. Here in Scoglitti

we consider it as delicacies, but you Americans probably throw it away. Patience.
In the middle should be stay the ink sac, drop shaped. Keep it gently and cut away from the cuttlefish. Squeeze it in a little cup. Nearby should stay also the eggs or the sperm sac. Here in Scogli... ok, THROW ALL AWAY, and go on. Then wash the cuttlefish with water. Will it have some taste? I don't now, probably NO: you have thrown all away, there's nothing to eat.

Ok, don't cry for milk sloshed down.
Let's cut garlic and onion, let's slowly fry them in olive oil, let's boil tomatoes for twenty seconds, peel off and chop them. Now we can add fine chopped cuttlefish to the soup, slosh on the white wine and finally add tomatoes. Cook for twenty minutes and color it in brilliant black with the cuttlefish ink. I find it beautiful.

Have you already boiled the spaghetti? Yes? Have you kept away a glass of spaghetti cooking water? NO? You foolish! Don't forget it next time. Now, mix together spaghetti and black soup, add a glass of water, wait a minute mixing on high fire and serve with minced parsley.

Now wait until you have to go to crap out.

A cure-all for your heart: cavati with pork gravy

I didn't frequently perform this recipe until my father had been saved from a hearth attack by these cavati with pork gravy. I'll tell you this tale briefly.

We were here in Scoglitti and we was having dinner. It was actually a little party, there were relatives came from Australia and cousins from Florida. They were all very happy to be returned in Sicily for a little holiday, so my father and my mother had cooked for all salami, cavati with pork gravy and grilled sausages. And a 5 kg cassata. There were also a lot red wine.

My father was playing the squeeze box, he's really a maestro.
But I was worried and I told him: "Oh pa', viri ca ccu ssa cosa ti pigghia 'ncuorpu, levacci ma nu ca cciù si biecciu. Manciati a pasta ca viri ca s'arrifridda", that in good english sounds like: "The old squeeze is too much for you daddy, it's really weigh. You are not a young boy anymore, why don't you stay quiet and eat your cavati?"

My father was quite fatigued but fortunately get down the sqeeze box and catched the fork.
Just in time!
He felt ill and we brought him at the hospital immediately. Fortunately was only tachycardia, the physician in the hospital told us my father was saved by Mediterranean diet.
In fact, we consume only Mediterranean pork.

But now stop with thick talk and let's go with cavati!

You need:
for the cavati pasta
- 1 kg cornflour (better abound then in short supply)
- water

Mix water and cornflour until you have a firm dough. Make with your hands long worms having a diameter of 2 cm, and cut them in little blocks. Finally squeeze this blocks with a fork: here we are cavati! Spread them on with a lot of cornflour and cook the pork gravy.

for the pork gravy:
-2 kg pork bacon
-1 kg pork chuk
-1 celery
-3 onions
-2 carrots
-1 garlic head
-olive oil
-bay laurel, 4 leafs
-tomatoes, 1 kg
-a glass of red wine

Cut carrots, celery and onion and fry them with olive oil, low fire, for 30 minutes, adding water if needed. Then cut the meat, boost up the fire and add to fried vegetables. Then add a glass of red wine. When the wine is boiled off, add pealed tomatoes, take down the flame and cover. Now you can go to play scopa (or poker, after all you are Americans): your gravy must stay on fire for 3 hours. Once in a while ensure yourself it's not too much dry. If it is, add some water.

Ok, now you have to boil your cavati. A lot of water, a big pot are needed. Bring water to boiling point, add a handful of salt and throw in the cavati. They will be good when will float up. Take off them from water and mix with pork gravy. Grate on cheese and eat them quickly.

Now I know that cavati can save a life, so I always cook them for my father.
Enjoy!