10/24/2007

Spaghetti in cuttlefish ink or: how much employs your cramp to come out


Ok, words as "cramp", "shit", "caca", "dirt" or similar, usually did not appear in cooking recipes. But I consider this a particular case.
If you want, you can take from this post considerations about shit alone. Otherwise you can ignore shit, or believe that I really intended "ship" or "chic" and only consider this spaghetti in cuttlefish ink recipe. Or, if you have hard stomach and can do it without barfing, eat my spaghetti and discover how much employs your shit to come out.
Ok, but why?
I don't know. You could have a constipation problem and you should want to know how many days a lunch stay in your gut until you at last eject it (what a relief). May be you would evaluate the effects of your new probiotic-based diet, whit a simple first-before experiment.
Or simply you would see your feces colored in a beautiful brilliant black.
Anyway.

You need a cuttlefish. You need a big kitchen, easy to clean. You need a great kitchen apron.
And finally you need these

INGREDIENTS
- 1 cuttlefish
- parsley
- garlic
- 1 onion
- 4 ripe tomatoes
- a glass of white wine
- spaghetti

Ok. It's the worst side. We have to clean the cuttlefish, WITHOUT break the ink sac. With a scissor cut away the eyes. Do the eyes splashed off on your face? Yes? It's funny, isn't it? Now, with the same scissor remove the beak. Now, open the head with a long cut: the brown muck is the liver. Here in Scoglitti

we consider it as delicacies, but you Americans probably throw it away. Patience.
In the middle should be stay the ink sac, drop shaped. Keep it gently and cut away from the cuttlefish. Squeeze it in a little cup. Nearby should stay also the eggs or the sperm sac. Here in Scogli... ok, THROW ALL AWAY, and go on. Then wash the cuttlefish with water. Will it have some taste? I don't now, probably NO: you have thrown all away, there's nothing to eat.

Ok, don't cry for milk sloshed down.
Let's cut garlic and onion, let's slowly fry them in olive oil, let's boil tomatoes for twenty seconds, peel off and chop them. Now we can add fine chopped cuttlefish to the soup, slosh on the white wine and finally add tomatoes. Cook for twenty minutes and color it in brilliant black with the cuttlefish ink. I find it beautiful.

Have you already boiled the spaghetti? Yes? Have you kept away a glass of spaghetti cooking water? NO? You foolish! Don't forget it next time. Now, mix together spaghetti and black soup, add a glass of water, wait a minute mixing on high fire and serve with minced parsley.

Now wait until you have to go to crap out.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

we love you crazy italian(?) crap out person, currently using your recipe in West london on a balmy summers evening. thanks

Anonymous said...

Italians? Shit! we are sicilians, and as sicilians we are italians only accidentally. Infact that person, what his name? Oh ja, Giuseppe Garibaldi: he gave Sicily to the King of italy as a Christmas present. Fuck him!
We are sicilians!

Anonymous said...

Hi Sicilian. Are you still writing a blog? Can an Aussie join in here too (I note you have Aussie family)? I just discovered this site while looking at possibilities for cuttlefish and ink recipes. My hands are smelly from figuring out the disemboweling process without your advice. So, Bugger! I threw away the guts but I'd like to know whether you put them in the soup, so I can try that next time. Will send something more foolish next time if you reply.;)

Anonymous said...

Hi Aussie! Absolutely NOT, you can't join in here until you has sang That's amore, like my aussie cousin Carmelina used to when she were here in Scoglitti!

What I put in the soup is a family secret. But I can reveal you what I do with eggs (the little jelly balls) and sperm sac. I boil them in salt water for two minutes and I serve them with oil, lemon juice (just one drop) and minced parsley.
Are you such a gourmet?

Anonymous said...

Hi Sicilian - it's the Singing Aussie here
Thanks for the tips!
I just sang That's Amore, but probably not like cousin Carmelina, but a bit like my friend Massimo's cousin Adriana who lives in Napoli. Ok, I am such a gourmet and will get some more cuttlefish asap to try the yummy jelly balls and sacs! Any similar gourmet suggestions would be much appreciated.

RENZO said...

Bedda matri che ridere! Hei Aussie, you make me laugh a lot this morning. You are definitively welcome here!

caron said...

Grazie mille Renzo! You made me laugh when I 1st read your blog, so we maybe have a similar appreciation of food and foolishness. I still dream of the taste of the tomatoes I ate (when in Napoli) which were grown on the sides of Mt Vesuvius and of the unpasteurised buffalo mozzarella...sigh! Unfortunately the taste of tomatoes and mozzarella in Oz is crap. Or maybe they're ok in Melbourne or Sydney, but I live in Queensland.
Are your cheeses and tomatoes just as good in Scoglitti?
Caron
ps For your next song request, can you choose something a little less 'jolly' than the last one? Perhaps something more grand and melancholy? (but not opera)

RENZO said...

Cheese? Oh, yeah! We have a sheep milk cheese that smell like a living sheep (or maybe like a dead sheep...), a caciocavallo piccante that needs a corn tongue to be eaten, and a provola, sweet like angel's milk!
here a little sample ;)

Next song: quant'è lària la me zita ("My fiancée is really hug", subtitle: "In return she's filthy rich")

(I'm sorry that this blog be down in this period, all photos lost, too little time. Ok, I'll try at least to reload the images)

Caron said...

Strewth! I think I would need tutoring in the words for that last song, though the drinking of the vino while singing is something I'm practiced in. Blog pics are nice; make me hungry (pity I'm on one of those American diets since yesterday to lose put-on-pounds since giving up smoking)!

Happy Easter! It's olive picking time here in SE Queensland. Any Sicilian olive pickling recipes? Picked & pickled some using about 20 different methods a couple of years ago. Some turned out ok and others crap.

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